3/4 length

as i've mentioned in a previous post i've been doing a spot of freelance recently. Last week i was working with a group of young people when suddenly one of them jumped up and shouted
"f*****g c**t, i've got paint on my mothers f*****g jeans" everybody stopped work in shock.
"your wearing your mothers f****g jeans?" another asked
"yeah, but their f****g 3/4 length". he replied
"oh well thats fair enough".

slander

i've just come back from the park in beddau. i took the kids out for the morning to give the wife a much needed rest (and check out the skate park which is next door). it's not much of a play park really most of the play equipment is either broken or has random pieces of graffiti scrawled over it, my favourite is "shaun is bestial". dan always has a good time there running jumping and avoiding pieces of broken glass while aimee either sleeps or looks on nonplussed. as we where walking home chatting about lunch and black birds dan turned and to my absolute horror had blood all over his face and hands. in cleaning it off i realised that it was just a normal nose bleed and nothing to worry about. dan soon forgot about his itchy nose and was asking to have easter eggs for lunch while watching cbeebies. when we got home i mentioned to julie about the nose bleed when dan pipes up with,
"i fell over, i fell over on the road and bumped my head".

thanks a bunch dan.

"I want to see the boats, why can't I see the boats, I never see the boats". My son said as we where standing on Tenby harbour. Another of my favourite lines is " I love milk, I love bananas, I don't like banana milkshake".

busy, busy, busy.

It's all happening here, as well as my responsibilities as a father and husband I've been co-ordinating a project in Ringland (the housing estate in Newport and not a male brothel), painting a mural type thing for the "Coffee Square" in Beddau (if any ones passing call in and take a look, let me know what you think), I've also got the second draft of my final piece of course work to hand in for my evening class, my job search commitments, all this and I'm still managing to fit in nine hours of t.v. a day.

My daughter appears to be some kind of nappy filling Jedi. Don't get me wrong I'm no stranger to baby poo. My son is no amateur in that department. Aimee however is in a whole other league, she can squirt it up the front, down either leg or both legs at the same time. I can only remember Dan getting poo in his hair a couple of times at the most. Aimee's covered from toes to scalp twice a day at the very least.

Frank and beans

My wife and I have always referred to our son's "equipment" as being his "frank and beans". So it came as a compleate suprise when today while in the bath he gripped "frank" between thumb and forefinger and said loudly "dad, this is my willy".

dad tax

Over the last few weeks i've be claiming dad tax from my son. this entails me proclaiming "dad tax" then taking a portion of whatever he's eating. it's brilliant, i highly recommend it to all you dads out there. i can't wait for my daughter to go onto solids so i can claim off her too.